Asks Philip Yancey, a mere five pages into Prayer: does it make any difference?
The phrase not enough stops me cold. Why do I see myself so accurately reflected in these two words when I —
- Am reading in the privacy of my home (space, I have space and often a quiet environment)
- Am sipping tea (out of one of many mugs, made with clean water, chosen from many kinds of tea)
- Am sitting on a couch (I could have chosen to read on six other chairs, four stools, my bed, or two yoga mats)
- Am reading by light (I have electricity and am literate)
- Am wearing clean clothes (that I chose out of plenty of options)
Yet I resonate immediately with the constant sensation of not enough and it catches my breath. And saddens me. Really? That’s my story? Not enough?
What would it look like to consciously say I have enough! For the last two weeks, I have been practicing saying the word enough. Enough. I have enough.
Enough time with my family in the States
Enough internet speed
Enough fortitude to walk all the way to the store now that the neighborhood one has been closed for a year and I’m still working on “getting over it” (translation: I have enough convenience) and enough strength to carry back my groceries
Enough Chinese language skill
Enough of a voice
Enough of hearing from God
I have enough. What I have been given, I am claiming it as enough. I am choosing what I have and not looking for what I don’t have.
Some of these are easier to believe (enough time with nieces? and sisters? and friends? and parents? Enough quiet in the loud, loud morning?). But I believe that I do not walk this path unguided or alone. If this is the path that God has chosen for me, I want to receive it as one who has enough.
Who is grateful for the portion of joy or influence or money I have been given instead of pointing out how someone got just a little bit more than I did. Wondering (in politer moments) if I could have some more please and demanding through gritted teeth (in more petulant moments) FOR SOME MORE.
Not this day. This day I have enough. Help me Lord when I forget. May the grateful prayer of my heart be
Thank you, giver of all, who makes them good. I have enough. I am enough. You are enough. Amen.
What do you have enough of this day?